Why I Hate Mother Nature

Living in Michigan has caused me to do certain things that I wouldn't do otherwise; Pretend that I'm kind of gangster because I'm from the Metro-Detroit Area (even though I live in one of the nicer areas in the State). Root for a team that, no matter how low my expectations for them are, finds a way to disappoint me year after year, (0-16). And finally it has caused me to despise my mother. My Mother Nature. Why does a state that already suffers from a bad football team, a rough economy and only being the home to a few really famous people also have to be cursed with the worst climate of all time? Michigan is the only state where Christmas in July seems all too possible. We shouldn't have to deal with having to decide whether or not they need to put on a winter jacket in May. We shouldn't have to deal with wondering if our Fourth of July picnic will be so cold that people have to gather around the fireworks for warmth. We also shouldn't have to wonder if the April showers that bring May flowers are going to end up being an ice storm that kills every plant in its path. But, we live in Michigan so this is something that, while it may seem too implausible to happen, is still possible. Because of living in the Mitten State I begin to not believe in global warming. I mean how could the globe be getting freakishly hotter if the 5-day forecast of a hot Michigan week has only one day that has a high around 80? I just don't see how it's possible. If Mother Nature were my real mother, I would have already fought for my emancipation.