The Awkward High Five Save

A bro must always have his bros’ back, this is an obvious rule in the world of bros and has been mentioned on many occasions in this book already. This is another instance where the back of the bro must be had. Let me explain by using an example.

A group of bros are at a college football game, soaking in the excitement and cheering like a group of wild baboons, when their team scores. The joy of the bros cannot be contained, thus they jump up and down and swat at the hands of one another in high five form. When a touchdown happens it is usually a tradition that each bro gives a high five to each bro that is in his group. Unless of course one of the bros’ is a fan of the other team in which case you ridicule him mercilessly about how his teams defense has more holes in it than his mesh tank top. This is completely okay because your bro shouldn't be rooting for that awful team anyway. Therefore you keep a high five from him, but give one to everyone else.

Now, lets say that one bro is going for an extra high five from one of the other bros, but the bro he is looking for the high five from isn't paying attention and the bro will be left hanging. But you’re not going to let that happen because you care for your bro and don’t want to see him humiliated by not getting a high five. Therefore you spring into action and smack the open hand of your bro like it is the bottom of a new born baby. This does two things, protects the bro from the awkward moment of having his hand hang in mid air with no one to be the peanut butter to his jelly while also boosting the moral of the bros because he knows that his bro has his back.

While this does work in this situation, there are places where the covering of your bros’ awkward moment should not be done. For instance, you are leaving said game and you run into a group of females that you all know. You go in for the hugs. While the hugging is being commenced, you notice one bro with his arms wide open, but no girl on the receiving end of the hug. While you may have covered for his high five mishap, you do not, I repeat, do not go in for the hug with him. Sure, it’s okay to hug your bros from time to time when you want to show a little man love, but it is not okay to give them one when they are directing it toward a woman who is not interested. This is a moment where you must let your bro walk on his own two, wobbly legs and let him learn from it. He’ll bounce back and be just fine.