Bundled up in a winter jacket, warm mittens, and two layers of long underwear, the fifteen representatives from Michigan addressed the House of Representatives. “Michigan is absolutely freezing and in need off some serious global warming to fix it,” the Michigan representative John D. Dingell said to the members of the House.
This argument has been caused by years of unforgiving winters and random ice storms that have occurred in months like March and April. According to a statement released by the CCAA, The Calendar Control Association of America, March and April are supposed to be spring months and not continuations of winter. “How are April showers supposed to bring May flowers only consist of sleet and freezing rain? Plants don’t grow in those conditions!” an easily angered Dale Killdee, representative from the fifth district of Michigan, yelled while giving his argument to the House.
One thing that the reps brought with them was a portfolio of things to argue about. “We call it the game plan,” said Kildee. This portfolio included a survey taken of Michigan citizens by the Governor of Michigan, asking which of the seasons is their favorite. The reps used the information to create a pie chart that they brought with them to the House for their main point. When the chart was shown to the House, it was laughed at and ridiculed because it was just a big smiling sun with glasses.
“Well, 87% of all the citizens said that they like summer the best, but I wanted it to be 100% so I just rounded up,” said Joe Knollenberg. “I’m cold as all get out up here in the mitten state and frankly, I’m tired of it.” The one question on everyone’s mind is: ‘How can the only state shaped like something warm be so cold?’
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